Workshopped

Not quite perfect,

But a lot to like here.

There are a few edits I could suggest:

Years 14-17 seem an obvious choice;

In particular, that time you sat on your bed,

Wishing you knew what feelings 

Really felt like.

Other parts work better together,

Where there's a strong narrative pull.

I wonder at so much repetition though -

Does it not get dull? It lulls, I know, 
But does anyone really want that?

The washing-up, the meetings, the sleeping -

Over and over.

I question the ending,

And the beginning.

Does the start have to be so vaguely recalled,

And, well, so graphic? 

Would it not put people off the whole thing?

And the ending - I'm not sure I buy it.

Yeah, it seems pretty improbable.
Yeah, too anarchic.

When Did Women Stop Fainting?

When did women stop fainting?
Was it at about the same time
That men stopped carrying smelling salts?
Did smelling salts producers have time
To capture other markets?
Did anyone lament the tapering off of
The feminine wile that beguiled so many, supposedly?
Did some women cling to it, pull its stays tight, 
Or fake it, eeking its time out?
Did all the women just stop en masse?
Did a plague of alertness suddenly transmit itself,
Catching from one woman to another,
A slow hop from body to body
Of wake, of consciousness?